Forgiving Offenses : Learning How To Love

Letting Go of Grudges

Alright, now that we've got today's topic down, let's address the elephant in the room: who doesn't love the idea of marriage? The ceremony, the kids, and that whole "riding off into the sunset" bit. It's like a fairy tale! But hold your horses, because marriage isn't just a walk in the park—it's more like a marathon with hurdles, and forgiveness is your best pair of running shoes. If you're anything like me, you're a perfectly baked chocolate chip cookie—soft and chewy on the inside, with edges that have just a touch of crispyness. Lol! With that being said Jesus allows me to be soft and chewy on the inside however I have ways about me that he has to help me with daily as I assume most of us can agree to.

A speedy tale of how my husband and I fell head over heels!

Where do I even start this wild ride? According to my husband, he was in love the moment he laid eyes on me at Ferguson Middle School. Meanwhile, I was completely unaware of his existence. As time went on, we decided to give this "friendship" thing a whirl, and we've been stuck like glue ever since. We even tried dating in 10th grade, but I hit him with the classic "let's just be friends" line. Fast forward to adulthood, and life threw us into what I lovingly call 'The Wilderness.' I became a mom to a gorgeous baby boy, and my now-husband embarked on an unexpected life adventure but I'll let him spill the beans on that story someday, hopefully. We started dating after I ditched a toxic relationship, and a few years later, he popped the question on my birthday. While being engaged we were baptized together and also went through premarital counseling which allowed us to build a firm foundation with Christ before entering our covenant with him. We tied the knot on 9/21/2017, a day we'll never forget, I went from Chloe' Crockett to Chloe' Alexander sealing our commitment with God, man, and helpmeet.

Fast forward to today, we've been married 5 years and have 3 beautiful kids. How awesome is the God we serve, right? Trust me, with that promise came a whole lot of trials! People say the first year can be tough; for us, honey, it was a whirlwind. I became pregnant with triplets 5 months after getting running headfirst into Covid-19. Picture two newlyweds, newly pregnant, trying to figure each other out as husband and wife. I'm sharing this to say we worked through offenses and forgiveness while learning how to be husband and wife to one another.

What are offenses, and how can they impact my marriage?

I'm so glad you asked! Offenses are actions meant to irritate or annoy, to cause to feel resentment, disgust, or anger, to disturb. Emotionally, offenses can result in anger, resentment, and negatively impact your relationships and mental health. Therefore, Jesus, forgiveness, and effective communication are essential. Offense can be influenced by various factors, including upbringing, culture, and internal struggles/insecurities.

Offenses can affect your marriage by giving the enemy a foothold, as they harbor unforgiveness and make a person temperamental and difficult to deal with. Imagine coming home to someone irritable or having to tread carefully because of their struggle with offense. Everyone faces challenges with offense, myself included. This blog is here to let you know you're not alone and to share some strategies that have helped me tackle this issue and totally change the direction of my marriage.

5 Strategies to Prevent Offense from Damaging Your Marriage

1. P R A Y E R..

   Mostly all my blog posts touch on this topic. It's the only way to ensure you are on your post and on alert for the plots of the enemy because let's remember he HATES marriage, and deception is one of his favorite tricks (Genesis Chapters 2 and 3). Both you and your partner have to make prayer a priority!

2. Forgivness

   I firmly want to explain the only way to have a healthy marriage is to continually forgive. If Jesus told Peter to forgive " not seven times but seventy times seven" please understand we are to forgive our spouses that amount plus more.

3. Healthy Communication

   It is so crucial to understand the importance of effective communication. Without the ability to communicate and understand each other, misunderstandings can easily arise. It's crucial to be honest! It can be disheartening when someone you love and value doesn't grasp your emotions and, at times, your pain or point of view.

   
   

4. Say Sorry

   Yep, I mentioned the big "S" word. Back in my early 20s, you couldn't pay me enough to say sorry to someone because I thought if you didn't do anything to me, I shouldn't have to apologize. Saying sorry is powerful, even when you're not totally at fault. Sometimes, how we respond, react, and take things in can be hurtful. I had to learn that apologizing doesn't make you weak; it shows your vulnerability to your partner and lets them know that you are receptive to what they have to say.

   
   

5. Kill Your Pride

   Pridefulness and offense are real good friends. With pridefulness, we do not allow space to humble ourselves before one another. Marriage is to be a safe space, not a battlefield. If the enemy can manipulate you into a posture of pridefulness, then guess what? You can easily become his wind-up doll.

Conclusion

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

In Christ all things are possible, a healthy marriage, forgivness and so much more. So I encourage you to sit with Jesus and allow him to create in you a new heart and show you how to love your partner as he intends afterall we have to give account for how we treated one another. I promise everythign will be JUST FINE.

Thanks for putting up with me I LOVE YOU ALL - Just A Girl And Jesus

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